Last year has perhaps been the longest one in my life. Not for unhappiness but for the happenings. In last 365 days, I have experienced life like never before. Month by month, I made friends, experienced cities and cuisines, had flings, tasted drinks, attended parties - all kid of parties - conferences, luncheons, marriages, birthdays, college freshers, anniversaries, even the disco parties, which are organised, thrown and attended for no other reason than to get drunk and dance like hell.

The year passed away with hues unseen for me. While I spent most of my year with probably the best research minds in the country with immense experience and knowledge to share and to evolve, off lately I am also having a gala time with people who perhaps have just stepped out of their nests but ready to take on the world as it comes to them.

Within a year, I have 'planned' and prepared to visit over 26 cities of the country, well I could make it to only eight of them :(, but hey those were amazing trips. From serious business cruise with the boss to thoroughly unplanned college trip, I rocked them all. Damn the trips, even the planning for me is fun. The excursions also marked a lot of firsts, like Rajdhani and Shatabdi Express and most of all an aeroplane. The view from the top was breathtaking.

From writing business proposals and marketing strategy plans to giving surprise tests for 10 marks in college, well what can I say. But the best part, no doubt, has been writing this blog. I could never imagine that I would ever be able to express myself as a blogger. I am just a beginner but the love that has been showered upon me here is unmatched. This space gives me immense satisfaction and glory to live by. All thanks to Kalpana Mam.

I made numerous friends, senior workaholics,sports junkies, vellas, MBAs, PHDs and friends just like that. And I do not know how many of them might actually end upp being my life long buddies. At least I hope so.

Hope I continue to make new histories and turn new milestones in days and years to come by.

P.S.: I dedicate this entry to all my lovely friends whom I met in last one year, Specially Divya Aravindan! Love you Dear! God Bless You All

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“Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi, ke her khwaihish pe dum nikale
Bahut nikale mere araman, lekin phir bhi kum nikale”
We live once, and if we live more than once, who remembers to rejoice or remorse? So basically, we have one life to be happy, to be sad, to be loved, to conquer and to make proud. And we all want to make this one time count. 

As soon as we begun to understand the value of our precious birth, we set a clock, a timetable, wherein we decide the years for studies, sports, romance, marriage, children and hobbies. But what if life refuses to follow our path, our master plan? Well, no big deal, it always does, we all have faced the irritating situation and that’s when we realise, whatever the hell with it, I am going to live it all everyday in every moment and be content. Content in smiling, content in crying, content in celebrating and content in dying. So far in my timid life, I have been content. I have been loved, cared for, pampered, made beautiful friends, met amazing people, visited exotic places, heard unknown facts, explored jungles, scaled mountains and most importantly laughed – till my tears came strolling down. I have lived. And if I today I die, I have no regrets.

Just like my dad. He was a jolly man with high ambitions, till he learned he has heart disease and cannot involve himself in any kind of heavy physical activity. He was 22 then. Just about what I am today. He was by then captain of his district Cricket team, and champion of Chess and Carom in the State, but he quit all of them. And as I knew him, became a quiet man with very less demands.

His daily routine had only home to office, office to home with minimal baggage as he could not carry more than a lunch and a content smile. But he was happy and he made sure, we were more than that. He made us live what he could not in his first 22 years. I have had most adventures and wackiest trips around country with him, shared most naughtiest pranks and made some of the most funniest jokes. We were a team. All four of us.

We were happy wherever we were and yet we all wanted more. He wanted more. He wanted to live his own life. A life he imagined for himself before the disease. And as I said earlier, we all need one damned incident in our live to send our pretty routine and cared world down the drain, my father’s chance came as his new boss. Who can say, a person who had worked for years in a department with utmost dedication can freed himself just because of a nagging boss.

His new boss was a blessing in disguise. My father started living again. He chose after office hours to fill in lost happiness during the day. His dressing sense improved. We shopped a whole new wardrobe for him (in 25 years of his married life it happened just once). New perfumes, deos, hair sprays, sweat shirts, jackets, the works! He started visiting places he loved, concerts he yearned, plays he always wanted to watch. He always took us along. We painted the town red with endless mushaiyaras, mehfils, nataks, sufi sammelons and what not. It was amazing for him and thus for us.

When he passed away suddenly one night, he was with his family of four with two kids, who had successfully graduated from school and were ready to take on the world and a very strong wife, he knew could conquer the world if she wishes to. He knew he has lived his life, fulfilled his duties, laughed and made people proud. He was content. Yet, he longed for many other wishes. Yet, every day, I count wishes he told would come true one day. Yes! They all will come true one day! I promise you Dad!

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Everywhere I see around me, I see fear. Fear of a future event - untoward incident. An incident, which has not yet taken place or has been confirmed. As far as I can see, it might not happen at all... at least I hope so, but everyone is scared. Scared of riots, bomb blasts, train burnings and chakka jaams.

And all this for what - for something happened 17 years back - Babri Masjid Demolition. With due respect to all religions, I do not see any point in all hue and cry related to Babri Masjid issue. I remember saying as a seven-year-old, "What is all that fuss about Ayodhya, mandir - masjid, mandir - masjid. Just demolish everything and make a damn park there for kids like us."

My parents laughed, but even today I do not think it was funny. On December 6, 1992, a mosque in Ayodhya, a religious city in North India, was destroyed by Hindu propagandists for it is believed to be erected upon the birthplace of Rama - a Hindu God. The demolition was immediately followed by riots in different parts of the nation.

The incident took a long time to cool down, in fact it never died down completely and comes up violently during every elections. Everything related to it makes news - verdicts, witnesses, anniversaries, committees, reports. But a forthcoming verdict, supposedly final, has created a sense fear among common Indians, which I cannot apprehend.

Yesterday, I read a news about an upcoming multistarrer movie being postponed for the fear of unrest in the country as a result of the Babri verdict. I felt strange, but the same evening my friend sent me an SMS, which plead friends to stand united on 24th September in the name of the nation. That message smelled fear, a threat, a mistrust of Indians on Indian Govt. and law and order authorities. Today morning, I saw an appeal by a religious sect to all their 'Hindu and Muslim brothers and sisters' to maintain peace and harmony on the eve of the final verdict.

But why? why do we need to plea, I mean isn't it understood that we all have been fed up of stupid fight over a peace of land and have grown over and can't imagine ourselves being puppets of greedy propagandists, who had never or will ever have people's welfare in mind. And in case we have not, it's high time we should be.

Please leave your comments on how you feel about Babri verdict?

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I have been writing this blog through inspirations. People around me, my friends, my colleagues, my family and events have all inspired me for each entry. But from past few days I have not found any inspiration. So I thought why not write about inspiration itself.

I have always been surrounded by beautiful people with amazing creative abilities. Some of my friends in school have been very intelligent and studious. They are doing well for themselves. Some of my friends have been highly expressive through alternate media and they are doing very well for society.

My parents thought I was a born leader, but I have always been following others' lead. I love to watch my friends do things differently and then I try to imitate. Though I do not confess it and never admit also but I do it because I think they are definitely worth following.

But in the meantime, I also try to maintain my own identity in midst of all. I do not know how much I succeed, but I get to see life through a different point of view. However, I admit that sometimes these people become very successful and it becomes very difficult for me to draw inspirations from them as I feel jealous, but that jealously again is my inspiration to believe in myself and my creative abilities, for  I am no less than others, it is just matter of time.

Everything I come across leaves an impression on me, my style of speaking is often influenced quickly by people I meet at everyday basis, irrespective of the liking factor between us. I have even felt influence in my writing style from the authors I am reading at particular point of time. Khushwant Singh makes me simple and witty, Jeffery Archer makes me mysterical and twisted, Khalid Hussein makes me facty.

I change with my surroundings and love to adapt! But then that is what brings variety in life. And I, for sure, enjoy variety the most. In the long journey of life, I wish to find many more inspirations and many more sagas to share. So while I go on a hunt for my next tale, keep getting inspired.


And please keep being my inspirations for I am you :)

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'Extempore' - the word was introduced to me after I accidentally made one. I was in Ninth standard when I had volunteered to make weekly environment speech in morning prayer. But, I forgot. I was wandering fearless until one of my friends casually wished me the best of luck. I was stuck and did not know what to do, I could not step back - it was too late, so I decided to do it and I did it and to my surprise was awarded with a warm applause.

My listed topic was polllution, I chose a sub issue - noise pullution and gave few silly examples and made my way through. After the unexpected applause died down (I was still shaking with nervousness), my English teacher approached me and asked, if I would like to represent school for upcoming extempore competition? I asked her what is an extempore, though surprised with my question, she explained. I quitely refused and never made one again.

Extempore, I opine, is sheer injustice to the audiences for they deserve better. Any patient listener has full right to a well researched and through off speech with full presence of mind and concern on speaker's behalf.

The fashion of making on the spot speeches for showing off spontaneity and deep knowledge of subject matter has never been practice among read people. Any famous speaker, who might have in past gave a so called extempore, had always strategically planned for it for days and rehearsed it several times.

So please dear friends, collegues, teachers, class mates, bosses, I beg you guyz do not ever try to make one.. for we deserve better!

And I pray for all of you that you do not have to bear the one too!

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My life is mixture of dead-ends and new beginnings. I have met so far in my 22 years almost as many dead-ends and as many fresh starts.Every new beginning gives me immense pleasure, excitement and thrill but is obviously presided by a fear, a stigma and a guilt of mostly abrupt and only sometimes decent endings.

Each time I open a new book, buy a new toy, or install a computer game I feel I have found the world, but like other X generation kids, happiness would not last much longer. During my childhood, I enrolled in stitching, knitting, Kathak (classical dance), Odissi dance, Origami, paper flower making, aerodynamics, Spanish and Urdu languages, mehndi/heena application and several other courses I can not even remember now, but completed only few.(I have just started learning driving and guitar!! do not know how far that will go)

First days of every class are always very fascinating. It's all new world with new people and excitement and then gradually it becomes monotonous, actually it becomes monotonous quite quickly in my case. All those new books, new people seem old and boring and in due time it all becomes too pushy and unbearable. And then suddenly, I want to break free, away from those pushy people who think that I am lame and find opportunity to make excuses, in most of the cases I find a very good excuse to place it before my mother, like in Spanish it was a broken leg, in Urdu it was shift of work schedule, in Kathak it was teacher's rude attitude and knitting was not just my thing.

My Mom has always been very worried about my attitude towards work. Her worries about my inconsistency earlier irritated me but then amused me (I was particularly amused with notion that inconsistency is related to free spirit, happiness and different people, I felt I have my own identity). She used to lecture me, scold me, even give warnings but then she stopped. She stopped doing it when I took my professional life seriously and started working on my grads.

But my attitude did not change, it began to affect my professional life. For me, my career was never going in right direction and every new coming up job was better than the current one, I changed jobs too frequently and left them and sat at home when no new job was offered but did not work anywhere for even a year at a strech. No guilt no shame, because I am always right, my employers do not deserve me or vice versa, who cares!

But then I landed on this job! The place, I am currently working at, is awesome, and strangely has not given me a reason to quit so far. There was nothing new about this place. I knew most of the staff and my bosses were familiar to me but somehow I kept making friends here every month. Every bunch of new friends inject freshness into my blood. My work profile has also maintained same dynamics, even its faster, it keeps changing its nature very week! obviously retaining the basic goal of my project. People here are great, colleagues cool, bosses even cooler. But then I am I. I have to change, move on. Even if I know I am currently probably at one of the best organisations to work for and probably at a very opportunate designation but still I want to move away.

I am moving away...towards a new beginning...towards a new journey, which marks threshold of a struggle to reach a place perhaps less smarter than this one but I need to embark this journey for reasons unknown, perhaps for terrorities unseen.

Wish me luck friends for you will never change and I am lucky to have you all!

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In school we are all asked to write an essay of 'My Best Friend' and we all wrote:

My Best Friend is .....................
S/he is very intelligent.
S/he always stands first in class.
S/he is very good in sports.
S/he is very kind and helpful.
I like her/him very much.

But in real, I could never fill in that blank because I never found anybody so idealistic. But then 'bade hoke' I made my own first Best Friend. She was just like my Second Class essay. Smart, intelligent and an all rounder. I simply loved her... hey I love her even now. But then I made one more best friend in college, then made another and another till I realise that Best Friend is not a singular term - it's actually pluralistic.

But then what do we call our 'bestest friend'? I guess Fast Friend :) Fast Friend is a person who understands you completely, is always with you when you need them and shares all his/her secrets with you and you do the same.Fast friends are like one soul in two bodies. They connect so beautifully that sometimes others can not even believe or fathom. Fast friends trust, rely and enjoy each other. The worldly worries or rituals are invisible objects in their shared world. It's almost perfect.

But the life is all about these 'almost' situations. Because nothing can ever be perfect. Fast friends or soul mates, largely from opposite sex, connect in a spur of a moment, they just know they are meant for each other, 'not in romantic sense of course' (Warning: sometimes these soul mates also end making great couples but those are 'exceptions' not the other way round).

But its strange to see that they can part their ways in a similar manner too, i.e., in a spur of a moment. With no reason, no explanation, no notice, they just vanish into their own worlds as if they were never related, as if they knew nothing about each other, as if it does not matter. It's strange.. very strange!

I hope you are happy wherever you are!

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Whatever you demand is at your feet

Our childhood is so sweet,

Whatever you dream is fulfilled

If, it is your need

Your sweet wishes

which all believe are so neat, 

are always taken care of

so that you never need to weep

Be it your mother or father, 

they understand whatever may be the matter

Life comes so easy that

you wish and you get

But then as they say

life cannot be perfect

People come and people go, 

leaving their loved ones in a woe

You may get all that you want, 

but you can't keep that as long as you wnat

You need to say good bye to your loved ones, 

be it luck, love or childhood funs

Life may not remain so easy

Hate and hypocrisy

of the world around you may make you feel dizzy

A born blind is not so bad

but born with eyes then blind is really sad

So live every moment of your sightness

and spark the world with your brightness

Turn the cries to smile and curse to wish

Life cannot get better than this!!!

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Guys this is a poem penned by me so obviously not beautifully written, please read it at your own risk!

 I feel complete when you are around,

I feel complete where is there is nothing to bound

I may have done thousand sins,

but I know you will never let me through myself in any of the bins

I smile, I dance, I jump around even without you,

But have never shed a tear or laughed if it wasn't you

The day was normal when we met

Neither you, nor I felt anything

but today after years of laughter, tears, fights and promises

I feel incomplete without you!

You are my soul, my life

when I look into your eyes, my heart shines like a rock smudged knife

You may laugh at me, poke me or make fun,

but I know you cherish our bond and you will never let me run

-I wish I was complete without you!

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Many of my friends must have already read about the Tantrik and Snake in my status(es), but for those who have not here's the full story:

Today when I was lost in my plans to make a documentary on one day with a street child (I make innumerable such hypothetical plans everyday), I saw a tantrik doing some mumbo jumbo with two girls in an auto at a Delhi Red Light. Time: 9.00 AM, heavy rush hour and the guy and his pray seemed to be completely at ease.

He kept something in one of the girls' hand and read some mantras. Then he asked her some details which suddenly made her uncomfortable and she promptly asked him to leave and auto driver to move from there. In return, tantrik, afraid to loose his 'client' brought out a live 'SNAKE' and started telling her about its religious importance and when she completely freaked out, he actually started chewing the snake from its belly!!!

Now, honestly I freaked out too, even though I was at a distance I just could not make out what was it or who was it? Was he really a tantrik with black magic or super powers or just another impostor dressed up to trick people in broad daylight for their money?


Well, whomsoever it was, I really want to warn all my friends from such people. Whatever your believes might be such people are not healthy intrusion in any body's life.

I used be charmed by how traffic light inhabitants in big cities manage their lives, how they innovate or network to earn their daily food but today's innovation has amazed me. I wonder what all street dwellers across India are coming up with? In case you have seen something weird or experienced any such incidents please do leave a comment!

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The Online Dictionary defines Kleptomania as 'an obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need.' We all have heard about this disease, some have seen people indulging in kleptomaniac activities and some of us even practice it.

Well, to be honest I think all of us have indulged in this pleasure at least once, actually, more than once. Of course, age factor counts. I was five years old when I stole Rs 100 from my Mom's wallet for nothing. Then was 11-years-old when thoroughly enjoyed a whole day of shop lifting at a book fair in Pragati Maidan. Most of the books I picked had nothing to do with my interest or academics, yet the pleasure of stealing and not being caught was awesome! (I still have those books).

Recently, I noticed one of my colleagues picking up office stuff of negligible economic value. When I asked him about missing stuff, he simply reasoned that he took stuff home for working and was about to return them, of course he never did return .. except a water bottle.

His acts reminded me of my silly habits or say minor symptoms of the funny disease. It used to be fun - fun without any cause, without any motive, perhaps it was innocence.

So how many of you were as innocent as me in your chilhood? Share your experiences!

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Freedom from fear is the freedom
I claim for you my motherland!
Freedom from the burden of the ages, bending your head,
breaking your back, blinding your eyes to the beckoning
call of the future;
Freedom from the shackles of slumber wherewith
you fasten yourself in night's stillness,
mistrusting the star that speaks of truth's adventurous paths;
freedom from the anarchy of destiny
whole sails are weakly yielded to the blind uncertain winds,
and the helm to a hand ever rigid and cold as death.
Freedom from the insult of dwelling in a puppet's world,
where movements are started through brainless wires,
repeated through mindless habits,
where figures wait with patience and obedience for the
master of show,
to be stirred into a mimicry of life.

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I do not know how many of you will agree with me but I think we all live in a constant mode of denial. We deny that we like someone, we deny that we ever stole anything from a store, we deny that we dig our nose, we deny our jealousy and then we deny more serious matters.

We think we are are all too grown up and mature to exhibit our pain, distress, happiness, tears, joy, etc. And automatically decide to live in denial.

Many of us take years before finally giving into love, many of us never as adult accept that we are nothing without our parents, many of us never accept our failures, many of bachelors specially boys never accept that they desperatly wish to settle down and stop hunting around.

Denial is dangerous and often results in image and self respect distruction as it hinders the path heart towards what is right for us. But it is definately an inseperable part of human trait. This is what defines us and sets challenges in life to make our life worth persuing.


But like all evils this dnail alsp has a end and it comes with truth, truth that no one wants to hear but everybody stays on their toes to point it out for others.

Truth comes into our face as a friend's 'honest and healthy advice', as mean people's meanness, as parents' suggestion, as teacher's order, as boss's rebuk and sometimes even as termination letter.

But it is upto us where we wish to take a break, listen to our hearts and start accepting the truth.

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Girls like me and of my age live a life of a hypocrite. They tell their parents, relatives and friends that they never want to marry and would give away anything to spend rest of lives with parents, but secretly all they dream about is getting married to most sexy/handsome/rich/humorous/sensitive/caring/cool guy in the world.

The female quest for unknown happiness does not stop at dreaming about marriage alone, it includes a lingering wish to experience motherhood, the joy of holding her own baby, having those little fingers and toes of her own creation and showing off the world what master craftsman she is.

Sometimes, the wish to experience that magic is so strong that eventually girls go to any extent, even sacrifice their professional life, just to have the joy of motherhood. In pre-independence era, or even now in some parts of India, a girl's personal and professional live revolves around providing a mail heir to the family, nothing above it, nothing beyond it.

But, even in modern era, women sacrifice their whole personal and professional life just to be a mother.I can't imagine a rush - a high so strong in my life that would force me to leave all that I have earned or yearned for till now. But then I am not a mother yet.

One of my friend is literally on the verge of death and she denies treatment - the reason - she wants to be a mother! Her condition so severe that unless she sacrifices her chances of ever conceiving a baby she hardly has any of living. But no matter what the docs say, no matter what we argue  - her thoughts never linger towards having a treatment for all she wants to have is a baby, perhaps later in life, but, yes a baby for sure.

Perhaps, the gravity of situation skips her mind everyday because her pain, her distress is negligible when compared to joy of motherhood, a joy which she has not experienced yet but she dreams of everyday and night.

When I got to know about her medical condition I had few sleepless nights, I even argued with her, requested her, begged her to go back to her hometown and have proper treatment but - in vain. The argument continued. But one day I looked into her eyes which were in so much pain yet carried a simple wish and I knew I lost my case. Thereon I could see how wonderfully her eyes hid the pain and joy of her strongest wish - she wants to be a mother!

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It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen
It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen

naa re naa re, naa re naa re - (2)
barso re megha megha -2, barso re megha barso
mitha hai kosa hai, barish kaa bosa hai
kosa hai, kosa hai, barish kaa bosa hai
jal jal jal jal jal jal jal thal jal thal
chal chal chal chal....... chal chal behta chal
gilee gilee gilee ha, ha ha ha ha.......

Ghanan ghanan ghir ghir aaye badra
Ghane ghan ghor kaare chhaye badra
Dhamak dhamak goonje badra ke danke
Chamak chamak dekho bijuriya chamke
Mann Dhadkayein Badrawaaaa... O the weather has turned beautiful in Delhi. After months of heat and humidity, Delhi finally received a sprinkle of rain and with it the priceless smell of earth.
The inside of a otherise hot and sleepy office has truned into a cool and lively place. People are happy, singing songs, some in their breathe and some humming, discussing clothes and hoping to get away ASAp to enjoy the weather with their family and friends. 
I wish you all Happy rain and pakorads! Enjoy Delhi
Rain Screensaver for your Desktop

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Recently one of my colleagues changed her job to become an Adoption Counsellor at a Delhi orphanage. The news was rather a bizarre for me for I had started growing fond of her and was looking forward to change my department and work under her able guidance. I requested her not to leave. But gradually with time I realised that she has chosen a rather noble field wherein she would help children crave their future.

But the full intensity of her job did not dawn on me until I spoke with her recently. Her explanation about her work culture and colleagues touched my heart. I realised that from on onwards she was not going to sit in AC cabin with a lot of paper work and gossipy colleagues rather she would be kept company in a huge group of children right from newborns to seven years of age, the youngest being just three day old.

She told me that every children in these orphanages have their own story. The stories of these unfortunate kids were touching.

A girl child was left behind because her father wanted to get married again after his wife's death. Can anyone go and ask that man would he have left his child in the same circumstances if it wold have been a male child? or would his wife have left their child in case he had died?

The answers are simple no. But her's in not the only case in the orphanage. There are kids left by unmarried mothers, by parents who just thought having a kid will not go with their professional lives, by parents who want to remarry.

But then as a coin as two sides there's a happier side to this sad saga also. Irresponsibility, professional success and social shame gives way to hope and happiness for loving couples who cannot have a child or simply want to adopt one to expand their families.

Many kids from these orphanages get great foster parents and live much healthier and happier lives from they would have otherwise lived. And in return they give unconditional love to their parents as they have nothing to loose.

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Today I read a friend's buzz status which said- it's the part of her life she calls wonderful! The statement triggered a stream of thoughts in my mind that if there's anything like wonderful life? The thoughts were partially result of my own misery and partially because I have never seen my friend so happy.

Well, it's good that she finally found her wonderland in a foreign state but here in India I find it amazing that how we term our whole lives wonderful on realisation of a momentary pleasure and horrible on facing a stupid trouble.

Human nature is so spontaneous that it practically leaves no space for planning. We are happy this moment and sad the another. We call ourselves luckiest man alive and a beggar on the same day. We live - we die - we don't have control over our lives, yet we plan.

Bosses praise us, suck us and even want to kill us and we return the favour with due fervour, yet we get up everyday to get to the same place and start the vicious cycle all over again. But, you know, the cycle is vicious but not never ending or inevitable. We can take control of our lives.

And, I think, the only way to get behind driver's wheel is to let go. Release that accelerator and hold on to break for some time or just let go the break and let your life speed on .. speed on until you feel the rush carving for which made you learn the damn driving.

Speed on or stay but do what you feel like, listen to your heart. Enjoy every moment of your momentary wildness because it will also pass and at the end of it you will feel you have really screwed it up!

But trust me there will be nothing more satisfactory than blowing off your monotonous life circle and starting all over again because we, as humans, are all nomads!

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