My life is mixture of dead-ends and new beginnings. I have met so far in my 22 years almost as many dead-ends and as many fresh starts.Every new beginning gives me immense pleasure, excitement and thrill but is obviously presided by a fear, a stigma and a guilt of mostly abrupt and only sometimes decent endings.

Each time I open a new book, buy a new toy, or install a computer game I feel I have found the world, but like other X generation kids, happiness would not last much longer. During my childhood, I enrolled in stitching, knitting, Kathak (classical dance), Odissi dance, Origami, paper flower making, aerodynamics, Spanish and Urdu languages, mehndi/heena application and several other courses I can not even remember now, but completed only few.(I have just started learning driving and guitar!! do not know how far that will go)

First days of every class are always very fascinating. It's all new world with new people and excitement and then gradually it becomes monotonous, actually it becomes monotonous quite quickly in my case. All those new books, new people seem old and boring and in due time it all becomes too pushy and unbearable. And then suddenly, I want to break free, away from those pushy people who think that I am lame and find opportunity to make excuses, in most of the cases I find a very good excuse to place it before my mother, like in Spanish it was a broken leg, in Urdu it was shift of work schedule, in Kathak it was teacher's rude attitude and knitting was not just my thing.

My Mom has always been very worried about my attitude towards work. Her worries about my inconsistency earlier irritated me but then amused me (I was particularly amused with notion that inconsistency is related to free spirit, happiness and different people, I felt I have my own identity). She used to lecture me, scold me, even give warnings but then she stopped. She stopped doing it when I took my professional life seriously and started working on my grads.

But my attitude did not change, it began to affect my professional life. For me, my career was never going in right direction and every new coming up job was better than the current one, I changed jobs too frequently and left them and sat at home when no new job was offered but did not work anywhere for even a year at a strech. No guilt no shame, because I am always right, my employers do not deserve me or vice versa, who cares!

But then I landed on this job! The place, I am currently working at, is awesome, and strangely has not given me a reason to quit so far. There was nothing new about this place. I knew most of the staff and my bosses were familiar to me but somehow I kept making friends here every month. Every bunch of new friends inject freshness into my blood. My work profile has also maintained same dynamics, even its faster, it keeps changing its nature very week! obviously retaining the basic goal of my project. People here are great, colleagues cool, bosses even cooler. But then I am I. I have to change, move on. Even if I know I am currently probably at one of the best organisations to work for and probably at a very opportunate designation but still I want to move away.

I am moving away...towards a new beginning...towards a new journey, which marks threshold of a struggle to reach a place perhaps less smarter than this one but I need to embark this journey for reasons unknown, perhaps for terrorities unseen.

Wish me luck friends for you will never change and I am lucky to have you all!

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In school we are all asked to write an essay of 'My Best Friend' and we all wrote:

My Best Friend is .....................
S/he is very intelligent.
S/he always stands first in class.
S/he is very good in sports.
S/he is very kind and helpful.
I like her/him very much.

But in real, I could never fill in that blank because I never found anybody so idealistic. But then 'bade hoke' I made my own first Best Friend. She was just like my Second Class essay. Smart, intelligent and an all rounder. I simply loved her... hey I love her even now. But then I made one more best friend in college, then made another and another till I realise that Best Friend is not a singular term - it's actually pluralistic.

But then what do we call our 'bestest friend'? I guess Fast Friend :) Fast Friend is a person who understands you completely, is always with you when you need them and shares all his/her secrets with you and you do the same.Fast friends are like one soul in two bodies. They connect so beautifully that sometimes others can not even believe or fathom. Fast friends trust, rely and enjoy each other. The worldly worries or rituals are invisible objects in their shared world. It's almost perfect.

But the life is all about these 'almost' situations. Because nothing can ever be perfect. Fast friends or soul mates, largely from opposite sex, connect in a spur of a moment, they just know they are meant for each other, 'not in romantic sense of course' (Warning: sometimes these soul mates also end making great couples but those are 'exceptions' not the other way round).

But its strange to see that they can part their ways in a similar manner too, i.e., in a spur of a moment. With no reason, no explanation, no notice, they just vanish into their own worlds as if they were never related, as if they knew nothing about each other, as if it does not matter. It's strange.. very strange!

I hope you are happy wherever you are!

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Whatever you demand is at your feet

Our childhood is so sweet,

Whatever you dream is fulfilled

If, it is your need

Your sweet wishes

which all believe are so neat, 

are always taken care of

so that you never need to weep

Be it your mother or father, 

they understand whatever may be the matter

Life comes so easy that

you wish and you get

But then as they say

life cannot be perfect

People come and people go, 

leaving their loved ones in a woe

You may get all that you want, 

but you can't keep that as long as you wnat

You need to say good bye to your loved ones, 

be it luck, love or childhood funs

Life may not remain so easy

Hate and hypocrisy

of the world around you may make you feel dizzy

A born blind is not so bad

but born with eyes then blind is really sad

So live every moment of your sightness

and spark the world with your brightness

Turn the cries to smile and curse to wish

Life cannot get better than this!!!

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Guys this is a poem penned by me so obviously not beautifully written, please read it at your own risk!

 I feel complete when you are around,

I feel complete where is there is nothing to bound

I may have done thousand sins,

but I know you will never let me through myself in any of the bins

I smile, I dance, I jump around even without you,

But have never shed a tear or laughed if it wasn't you

The day was normal when we met

Neither you, nor I felt anything

but today after years of laughter, tears, fights and promises

I feel incomplete without you!

You are my soul, my life

when I look into your eyes, my heart shines like a rock smudged knife

You may laugh at me, poke me or make fun,

but I know you cherish our bond and you will never let me run

-I wish I was complete without you!

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Many of my friends must have already read about the Tantrik and Snake in my status(es), but for those who have not here's the full story:

Today when I was lost in my plans to make a documentary on one day with a street child (I make innumerable such hypothetical plans everyday), I saw a tantrik doing some mumbo jumbo with two girls in an auto at a Delhi Red Light. Time: 9.00 AM, heavy rush hour and the guy and his pray seemed to be completely at ease.

He kept something in one of the girls' hand and read some mantras. Then he asked her some details which suddenly made her uncomfortable and she promptly asked him to leave and auto driver to move from there. In return, tantrik, afraid to loose his 'client' brought out a live 'SNAKE' and started telling her about its religious importance and when she completely freaked out, he actually started chewing the snake from its belly!!!

Now, honestly I freaked out too, even though I was at a distance I just could not make out what was it or who was it? Was he really a tantrik with black magic or super powers or just another impostor dressed up to trick people in broad daylight for their money?


Well, whomsoever it was, I really want to warn all my friends from such people. Whatever your believes might be such people are not healthy intrusion in any body's life.

I used be charmed by how traffic light inhabitants in big cities manage their lives, how they innovate or network to earn their daily food but today's innovation has amazed me. I wonder what all street dwellers across India are coming up with? In case you have seen something weird or experienced any such incidents please do leave a comment!

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The Online Dictionary defines Kleptomania as 'an obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need.' We all have heard about this disease, some have seen people indulging in kleptomaniac activities and some of us even practice it.

Well, to be honest I think all of us have indulged in this pleasure at least once, actually, more than once. Of course, age factor counts. I was five years old when I stole Rs 100 from my Mom's wallet for nothing. Then was 11-years-old when thoroughly enjoyed a whole day of shop lifting at a book fair in Pragati Maidan. Most of the books I picked had nothing to do with my interest or academics, yet the pleasure of stealing and not being caught was awesome! (I still have those books).

Recently, I noticed one of my colleagues picking up office stuff of negligible economic value. When I asked him about missing stuff, he simply reasoned that he took stuff home for working and was about to return them, of course he never did return .. except a water bottle.

His acts reminded me of my silly habits or say minor symptoms of the funny disease. It used to be fun - fun without any cause, without any motive, perhaps it was innocence.

So how many of you were as innocent as me in your chilhood? Share your experiences!

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Freedom from fear is the freedom
I claim for you my motherland!
Freedom from the burden of the ages, bending your head,
breaking your back, blinding your eyes to the beckoning
call of the future;
Freedom from the shackles of slumber wherewith
you fasten yourself in night's stillness,
mistrusting the star that speaks of truth's adventurous paths;
freedom from the anarchy of destiny
whole sails are weakly yielded to the blind uncertain winds,
and the helm to a hand ever rigid and cold as death.
Freedom from the insult of dwelling in a puppet's world,
where movements are started through brainless wires,
repeated through mindless habits,
where figures wait with patience and obedience for the
master of show,
to be stirred into a mimicry of life.

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I do not know how many of you will agree with me but I think we all live in a constant mode of denial. We deny that we like someone, we deny that we ever stole anything from a store, we deny that we dig our nose, we deny our jealousy and then we deny more serious matters.

We think we are are all too grown up and mature to exhibit our pain, distress, happiness, tears, joy, etc. And automatically decide to live in denial.

Many of us take years before finally giving into love, many of us never as adult accept that we are nothing without our parents, many of us never accept our failures, many of bachelors specially boys never accept that they desperatly wish to settle down and stop hunting around.

Denial is dangerous and often results in image and self respect distruction as it hinders the path heart towards what is right for us. But it is definately an inseperable part of human trait. This is what defines us and sets challenges in life to make our life worth persuing.


But like all evils this dnail alsp has a end and it comes with truth, truth that no one wants to hear but everybody stays on their toes to point it out for others.

Truth comes into our face as a friend's 'honest and healthy advice', as mean people's meanness, as parents' suggestion, as teacher's order, as boss's rebuk and sometimes even as termination letter.

But it is upto us where we wish to take a break, listen to our hearts and start accepting the truth.

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Girls like me and of my age live a life of a hypocrite. They tell their parents, relatives and friends that they never want to marry and would give away anything to spend rest of lives with parents, but secretly all they dream about is getting married to most sexy/handsome/rich/humorous/sensitive/caring/cool guy in the world.

The female quest for unknown happiness does not stop at dreaming about marriage alone, it includes a lingering wish to experience motherhood, the joy of holding her own baby, having those little fingers and toes of her own creation and showing off the world what master craftsman she is.

Sometimes, the wish to experience that magic is so strong that eventually girls go to any extent, even sacrifice their professional life, just to have the joy of motherhood. In pre-independence era, or even now in some parts of India, a girl's personal and professional live revolves around providing a mail heir to the family, nothing above it, nothing beyond it.

But, even in modern era, women sacrifice their whole personal and professional life just to be a mother.I can't imagine a rush - a high so strong in my life that would force me to leave all that I have earned or yearned for till now. But then I am not a mother yet.

One of my friend is literally on the verge of death and she denies treatment - the reason - she wants to be a mother! Her condition so severe that unless she sacrifices her chances of ever conceiving a baby she hardly has any of living. But no matter what the docs say, no matter what we argue  - her thoughts never linger towards having a treatment for all she wants to have is a baby, perhaps later in life, but, yes a baby for sure.

Perhaps, the gravity of situation skips her mind everyday because her pain, her distress is negligible when compared to joy of motherhood, a joy which she has not experienced yet but she dreams of everyday and night.

When I got to know about her medical condition I had few sleepless nights, I even argued with her, requested her, begged her to go back to her hometown and have proper treatment but - in vain. The argument continued. But one day I looked into her eyes which were in so much pain yet carried a simple wish and I knew I lost my case. Thereon I could see how wonderfully her eyes hid the pain and joy of her strongest wish - she wants to be a mother!

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It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen
It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen

naa re naa re, naa re naa re - (2)
barso re megha megha -2, barso re megha barso
mitha hai kosa hai, barish kaa bosa hai
kosa hai, kosa hai, barish kaa bosa hai
jal jal jal jal jal jal jal thal jal thal
chal chal chal chal....... chal chal behta chal
gilee gilee gilee ha, ha ha ha ha.......

Ghanan ghanan ghir ghir aaye badra
Ghane ghan ghor kaare chhaye badra
Dhamak dhamak goonje badra ke danke
Chamak chamak dekho bijuriya chamke
Mann Dhadkayein Badrawaaaa... O the weather has turned beautiful in Delhi. After months of heat and humidity, Delhi finally received a sprinkle of rain and with it the priceless smell of earth.
The inside of a otherise hot and sleepy office has truned into a cool and lively place. People are happy, singing songs, some in their breathe and some humming, discussing clothes and hoping to get away ASAp to enjoy the weather with their family and friends. 
I wish you all Happy rain and pakorads! Enjoy Delhi
Rain Screensaver for your Desktop

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