My life is mixture of dead-ends and new beginnings. I have met so far in my 22 years almost as many dead-ends and as many fresh starts.Every new beginning gives me immense pleasure, excitement and thrill but is obviously presided by a fear, a stigma and a guilt of mostly abrupt and only sometimes decent endings.

Each time I open a new book, buy a new toy, or install a computer game I feel I have found the world, but like other X generation kids, happiness would not last much longer. During my childhood, I enrolled in stitching, knitting, Kathak (classical dance), Odissi dance, Origami, paper flower making, aerodynamics, Spanish and Urdu languages, mehndi/heena application and several other courses I can not even remember now, but completed only few.(I have just started learning driving and guitar!! do not know how far that will go)

First days of every class are always very fascinating. It's all new world with new people and excitement and then gradually it becomes monotonous, actually it becomes monotonous quite quickly in my case. All those new books, new people seem old and boring and in due time it all becomes too pushy and unbearable. And then suddenly, I want to break free, away from those pushy people who think that I am lame and find opportunity to make excuses, in most of the cases I find a very good excuse to place it before my mother, like in Spanish it was a broken leg, in Urdu it was shift of work schedule, in Kathak it was teacher's rude attitude and knitting was not just my thing.

My Mom has always been very worried about my attitude towards work. Her worries about my inconsistency earlier irritated me but then amused me (I was particularly amused with notion that inconsistency is related to free spirit, happiness and different people, I felt I have my own identity). She used to lecture me, scold me, even give warnings but then she stopped. She stopped doing it when I took my professional life seriously and started working on my grads.

But my attitude did not change, it began to affect my professional life. For me, my career was never going in right direction and every new coming up job was better than the current one, I changed jobs too frequently and left them and sat at home when no new job was offered but did not work anywhere for even a year at a strech. No guilt no shame, because I am always right, my employers do not deserve me or vice versa, who cares!

But then I landed on this job! The place, I am currently working at, is awesome, and strangely has not given me a reason to quit so far. There was nothing new about this place. I knew most of the staff and my bosses were familiar to me but somehow I kept making friends here every month. Every bunch of new friends inject freshness into my blood. My work profile has also maintained same dynamics, even its faster, it keeps changing its nature very week! obviously retaining the basic goal of my project. People here are great, colleagues cool, bosses even cooler. But then I am I. I have to change, move on. Even if I know I am currently probably at one of the best organisations to work for and probably at a very opportunate designation but still I want to move away.

I am moving away...towards a new beginning...towards a new journey, which marks threshold of a struggle to reach a place perhaps less smarter than this one but I need to embark this journey for reasons unknown, perhaps for terrorities unseen.

Wish me luck friends for you will never change and I am lucky to have you all!

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In school we are all asked to write an essay of 'My Best Friend' and we all wrote:

My Best Friend is .....................
S/he is very intelligent.
S/he always stands first in class.
S/he is very good in sports.
S/he is very kind and helpful.
I like her/him very much.

But in real, I could never fill in that blank because I never found anybody so idealistic. But then 'bade hoke' I made my own first Best Friend. She was just like my Second Class essay. Smart, intelligent and an all rounder. I simply loved her... hey I love her even now. But then I made one more best friend in college, then made another and another till I realise that Best Friend is not a singular term - it's actually pluralistic.

But then what do we call our 'bestest friend'? I guess Fast Friend :) Fast Friend is a person who understands you completely, is always with you when you need them and shares all his/her secrets with you and you do the same.Fast friends are like one soul in two bodies. They connect so beautifully that sometimes others can not even believe or fathom. Fast friends trust, rely and enjoy each other. The worldly worries or rituals are invisible objects in their shared world. It's almost perfect.

But the life is all about these 'almost' situations. Because nothing can ever be perfect. Fast friends or soul mates, largely from opposite sex, connect in a spur of a moment, they just know they are meant for each other, 'not in romantic sense of course' (Warning: sometimes these soul mates also end making great couples but those are 'exceptions' not the other way round).

But its strange to see that they can part their ways in a similar manner too, i.e., in a spur of a moment. With no reason, no explanation, no notice, they just vanish into their own worlds as if they were never related, as if they knew nothing about each other, as if it does not matter. It's strange.. very strange!

I hope you are happy wherever you are!

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Whatever you demand is at your feet

Our childhood is so sweet,

Whatever you dream is fulfilled

If, it is your need

Your sweet wishes

which all believe are so neat, 

are always taken care of

so that you never need to weep

Be it your mother or father, 

they understand whatever may be the matter

Life comes so easy that

you wish and you get

But then as they say

life cannot be perfect

People come and people go, 

leaving their loved ones in a woe

You may get all that you want, 

but you can't keep that as long as you wnat

You need to say good bye to your loved ones, 

be it luck, love or childhood funs

Life may not remain so easy

Hate and hypocrisy

of the world around you may make you feel dizzy

A born blind is not so bad

but born with eyes then blind is really sad

So live every moment of your sightness

and spark the world with your brightness

Turn the cries to smile and curse to wish

Life cannot get better than this!!!

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